<<It’s not your job to like me. It is mine. >>

Byron Katie

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self-love (sĕlf′lŭv′)

n.

The instinct or desire to promote one’s own well-being; regard for or love of one’s self.

“HAPPY VALENTINE DAY TO ME”

is what you too should say today…

We all need a space for ourselves to feel safe, nourished and creative.

One great way to take care of yourself is to create a space in your home that is nourishing to your heart, mind and soul.

One of my word for this part of the year is:

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Self-Love is also know as self-care.

Self -care is about taking care of ourselves on a regular basis so we can be at our best when helping/ serving / working with others.

It can be anything: cooking / journaling / hiking / reading / knitting/ painting / singing / praying. But also having a manicure / a massage / a coffee with a good friend / But it has to happen on a regular basis. I like using an “app” called “Teuxdeux” to schedule (and remind me) those precious Me-Time during my week. It is very interesting to see how Me time moments can be squished or even brutally crushed under more important tasks like “grocery shopping”, picking up dry cleaning or returning books to the library.

As Marie Forleo says it over and over: when it is not scheduled, it is not happening.

And that works also with Self-Love.

While self-help books all advise building self-love in order to be happy, a surprisingly low number of people truly love themselves. The good news is it’s never too late to begin to love you.

An excellent way to begin to love yourself is to do something loving for you.

 

When you treat yourself with kindness, it makes you feel good.

The more you feel good, the more you want to treat yourself with kindness.

Each loving act, however big or small, is a brick in the foundation of self-love.

Here are some jewels gathered from books and online articles.

From me to you.

Happy Valentine’s Day to YOU!

Self-love involves the following:

  • Self-care.Self-care means you treat yourself just as kindly and thoughtfully as you would anyone else. If you are uncomfortable doing something, then you don’t do it and that’s OK. Just because somebody might be disappointed that you didn’t help him or her, that’s his or her choice to feel that way.
  • Considering your needs.If that means others don’t get all of you, all the time, then that’s also OK. People can learn to adjust and be responsible for themselves.
  • Caring for yourself with the same level of effort that you do for others.That might mean you don’t always fulfill your goal of helping others because you’d prefer to spend time doing something for yourself. That’s not selfish.
  • Accepting yourself for all that you are — both your positive aspects and your human fallibility.You cannot be all good all the time. That’s OK. You can work on self-improvement, but that doesn’t mean you discount the parts of yourself you don’t like as much. Those aspects are still part of your whole.
  • Saying no to others’ requests.That’s OK. You are not totally responsible for everybody else’s needs.

Working toward self-love and acceptance can take time. If you are somebody who has little regard for yourself, then you might want to start with self-like-a-little, working up to self-like. In time, you’ll learn to self-love and accept yourself for all that you are.

The following  is my personal “playlist” (from books / quotes / mentors ) to remind me of the baby steps that I need to take every time I realize that I  am out of synch with  joy / connection / gratitude.

I know that I need to find my way back to MY SOURCE.

1 Nurture yourself.

Self care is very important. Set up some time to be by yourself, just by yourself. Do something that gives you peace, love, and joy with yourself. You can nurture yourself physically by exercising and consuming healthy food. You can nurture yourself emotionally by listening to love songs, painting, or helping others in need. As you give yourself to others and offer help, you receive the gift of love back. You feel good about yourself because you live your life on purpose. You can nurture yourself mentally by reading your favorite books. You can nurture yourself spiritually by doing meditation.

2 Treat others with love and respect.

Bringing joy to other people’s lives will help you find joy in your own. In addition, those that you treat well will likely repay you with the same kindness. Gradually, you will start to feel your worth through the smiles of gratitude.

3 Create goodwill and thankfulness by practicing random deeds of kindness.

Share your being with others in many ways. Share your knowledge in nice ways, or make a small donation to a needy person or an unfortunate child.

4 Express yourself: Create art 

Surround yourself with meaningful words or picture that will lift your mood.

You may need to get feelings out, but not on your friends!

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Thrive on creativity. We are all remarkably creative, but our originality may be stunted by external factors. For example, your job may not allow you to express your true ingenuity. Our imagination allows us to manifest our most brilliant ideas to life if only we can open the inventive doors inside. Incorporate your creative tendencies into everyday life, from the way you dress, speak, decorate your home, etc. Expand your creative potential to reach its peak in time.

 

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5 Learn to let go of past events.

You deserve a fresh beginning! There are a lot of people out there that have had hard lives, bad beginnings/moments. Don’t close yourself out of grief, disappointments, or fears of future ridicule. Acknowledge your feelings, but work to put them behind you. Cherish what you have learned from your challenges, and how you have changed and grown from them. Forgive those who have done you wrong. Most importantly, though, forgive yourself.

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Put positive statements up some places where you will see them each and every day. 

“I am beautiful.” or “I have the courage to love.” Write notes that remind you of what you love most about yourself. Read them out loud, every day, at least once, ideally at least ten times each time you notice one of them.

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7 Try to look past “material” objects and feelings

We all want a nice house, nice things, someone to share our life with, etc. Find your true wants objectively. Do you crave power, a religion, or simply a motive? Sometimes it’s easier to hide the truth from yourself, but figuring out what you really want will help you know yourself better and hopefully aid in answering important questions you often ask yourself.

8 Don’t define yourself by what you’ve done. 

Celebrate your accomplishments, but let go of the things you haven’t done…yet? Remember that success is not a destination. Success is making progress (towards the desires of your heart). Accept yourself, and others will follow your lead. You are not your deeds, appearance, or bank balance.

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9 Be who you really are. 

Express yourself, laugh, play, or sing. Be crazy. Don’t be afraid of what others think. They feel the same way and want to express themselves, but are afraid to show it, too.

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10  Trust yourself. 

Don’t just follow other people’s suggestions blindly. Learn to trust who you really are.

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11 Think of five positive words that describe you. 

Try not to use words like ‘pretty’ and ‘nice’. Aim for a nice variety. Take your time and dig deep.

Mine could be:

caring / inventive / reliable  /initiator /communicative.

Your turn.

12 Practice receiving love. To truly love is to be able to receive it.

When someone loves you, does some kind deeds to you, says kind words, gives you gifts, or gives you compliments, embrace it.

Allow yourself to feel the love that has come your way. Know that you are worthy of love.

13 Do what you love. 

Make yourself happy.

What do you love to do?

If you could find something that you love to do and spend time doing it, you will experience love, joy, and happiness in your heart. That is when you truly connect with your authentic self. As a result, you become happier and more loving. Do something you love each day.

When was the last time you did something you truly loved? Our ambition is admirable, but our lives have become so busy that we often dismiss simple pleasures to take care of business. Whether it’s a hobby, talent, or special craft, take thirty minutes out of your day, each day, to practice what nourishes your soul.

Everything can wait while you indulge in your beloved self @unlieusurterre ( and yes, it is  a “tweetable”)

 

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14  Stop comparing yourself to others. 

Everyone on this earth is unique. We all have different gifts. When you compare yourself to others, it makes you feel bad about yourself. When you compare yourself to others for what they have, whether it is a car, a house, a mate, children, money, or a job, it makes you feel low self esteem, lose your confidence, and perhaps depressed, envious or jealous. A way to stop comparing yourself to others is by focusing on your own strength. Get to know yourself, and discover what your greatest gift is that you are meant to share with the world. Another great way is by practicing gratitude. Be happy for what you have. Really be grateful about everything that you have; people in your life, job, relationships, material, etc. Gratitude keeps your heart open to love. No one is quite like you. Just be you. Be grateful for being the wonderful you. Do the best you can. Be the best you can and love yourself more. Then, you have more love to give to others.

Recognizing your strongest traits endows you with deep knowledge of the self, a precious tool you can use to cultivate your best assets. Understand what are your shining qualities and showcase them with beaming confidence. Once you acknowledge your strengths, you can raise your standards in all elements of life. The moment you begin to believe that you deserve better is the moment you receive better.

Celebrate your worth. It’s easy to become distracted by potential achievements and neglect past accomplishments. Celebrate your personal triumphs, both big and small, and let every former victory be a fervent reminder that future wins await, too. Don’t be afraid to raise your glass and toast to that amazing person who’s conquered their every challenge: you.

 

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15  Stop trying to be perfect. 

Stop criticizing yourself for being less than perfect. Always do your best, but not reaching perfection is not failure. Just follow all the steps above, and don’t let anyone’s expectations of you put any pressure on you. Remember that no matter what, you will always be perfect just the way you are, flaws and all.

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16  Forgive yourself.

 Every one of us makes mistakes — in relationships, finances, personal decisions, and so on. Mistakes can be costly reminders to think before we act, but they are also encompassed by greater lessons. Remembering this can help us forgive our former failures and discern their higher purpose. When we forgive ourselves for our shortcomings we can redirect our attention to new efforts that produce new results.

17 Put yourself first.

There lies beauty in sacrifice. But when you constantly put yourself second, you set up an inevitable pattern of behavior. In time, you settle for second place in more than one area of life. Reevaluate what it means to put yourself first: engaging in your interests, pursuing your ambitions, and ensuring your well-being. Practice this mantra in all difficult situations: If it doesn’t bring me good, it isn’t worth my effort.

Extending too much love to others can leave us lacking in love for ourselves. We must walk the fine line of attending to others and tending to ourselves, all the while never falling second to the needs of another. Because to love ourselves is to know ourselves, and to know ourselves is to recognize the full spectrum of our powers.

Cut out all negative influences. Make a list of the people in your life who have no place being there. You know who they are — those who drain you physically, emotionally, or mentally, who take advantage of you or cause you any form of stagnation. Literally cut your list in half and let this be reflective of the way in which you will trim away these negative influences in real life.

18 Say I love you.

Speak it to yourself every morning; look in a mirror and say “I love you” in a loud voice. We automatically critique, blame, and fault ourselves for nearly everything, rarely acknowledging the things we do well or those we ought to be proud of. Show yourself daily doses of well-deserved appreciation.

Release love to yourself. We hoard our abundant love of the self within us, as if waiting to release it to the right person. In reality this love was meant to be released only to ourselves. Allow your self-love to flow freely by eliminating criticisms, insecurities, and doubts. The attention you should show another person is secondary to the attention you should show yourself. Why wait for someone else to love you when you can love yourself first?

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SOUL WORK FOR THE WEEK⩔ 

Time to re-frame your thinking about Valentine’s Day :

  • Make a “Happy Bubble List” : what would you love to do this week.
  • Schedule it. Share about it.  When you share about it: it becomes real and people will help you remembering with their friendly natural questions  (How is your Happy Bubble List going?)
  • Learn to drop the “should” and “must”
  • Enjoy the feeling of being more aligned with yourself

⩔SHARING IS CARING⩔

And I will always try to make it easy to do it for you!

Share this blog post on Facebook following the easy link right below. I love to read your comments, so don’t hesitate to do so on my Facebook Page on how you practice self love and your secrets, recipes for keeping them in focus all year long.

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